Okay - I’m a house cat and as such am unable to climb trees. Instead I climb slaves. My man makes a particularly good tree. His trouser legs come in useful as a trunk on which I can sharpen my fine claws. But best of all he’s good and tall and I can shin up him and look down upon my sister and my woman who both look rather tiny from up here.
Dear oh dear my servants are slacking. Just look at all that muck on top of the kitchen wall units. Oh look there’s my biscuit jar. What ho Jeeves! I’m feeling rather peckish. Get me something to eat. Immediately.
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